The Road to Happiness is Always Under Construction

To celebrate her 75th birthday, Linda Gray, the iconic star of Dallas and timeless beauty, is sharing her road map to happiness in her revelatory memoir.
When Linda Gray, iconic star of Dallas, was twenty years old, a magazine editor coldly rejected her as a model, writing that, perhaps one day, “you might shape into something.” Since then, Linda has been evolving and growing, and has shaped into a role model for women of every age in her grace, beauty, generosity, and wisdom. She’s been through more pain and tragedy than her longtime fans realize, having suffered paralyzing polio as a child, growing up with an alcoholic mother, landing in a emotionally abusive marriage at twenty-two and living by her husband’s rules for sixteen years before she openly rebelled against him to take an acting class. At thirty-eight, Linda got her big break, as Larry Hagman’s wife on Dallas. With fame came a bitter, public divorce, trouble at home with her two kids, and the loss of her beloved sister to breast cancer. Linda got through it all—the challenges of sexism in Hollywood and the pressures of being a single working mom—with a relentlessly positive attitude that kept her cruising, with a few speed bumps, to the place of serenity she thrives in now.
To celebrate her seventy-fifth birthday, Linda is opening up about her life for the first time. Inside this book, she tells deeply personal stories with wit, humor, and candor, and reveals how she’s learned to love every day as the blessing it is and to treat herself with the kindness she bestows on friends and strangers alike. Along with wisdom, Linda has accumulated a lot of practical tips about maintaining a healthy lifestyle—how to strengthen and detoxify your body, liberate your mind, and uplift your soul—and shares them as well. Her message to “give, love, and shine, baby, shine” will fill anyone with inspiration to live life to the fullest, and never stop pursuing honesty and joy.

The Road to Happiness is Always Under Construction by Linda Gray
Genres: Biography/Memoir
four-stars

 

I couldn’t wait to watch “Dallas” back in the 80’s! I believe it was the only U.S. TV show aired in Romania back then. I didn’t know anything else about Linda Gray (but the fact that she played Sue Ellen, J.R’s wife in this show) until this book – her memoir – came out in 2015. What a woman she is! I actually re-read her book and this time I quoted below so many of her wise words:

“There are three words I’d like to focus on: Time, Love, and Give. They are my compass. They define who I am and where I’m going.”

“I have accepted that we have so little control over what happens to us in out lives. But it is within our control to learn from our every experience.”

“Dale Carnegie once wrote, ‘You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear does not exist anywhere except in the mind.’ You have to face your fears (may we all have people in our lives who help us do it) to break through to whatever marvels are on the other side. Fear adds years to your age. But breaking through them is like mainlining the wonder of a child.”

“Successful women don’t give up. This anonymous quote puts it perfectly: ‘The secret to success is not to try to get rid of or shrink from your problems. The secret is to grow yourself so that you are bigger than your problems.'”

“When you get older, you know that life’s mysteries are revealed in the fullness of time. All you have to do is wait, watch, and be amazed.”

“To get what you want – a boyfriend, a friend, a job, respect, an invitation, a large donation for your charitable cause, an honest prognosis – you have to be an advocate for yourself. On the road to happiness, you have to toot your own horn.”

“Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said, ‘Enjoy life. This is not a dress rehearsal.’ On the road to happiness, one must be aware that we are living our one and only life each and every second. If this really were your last day, you’d want to spend it with someone, or doing something, you love. Don’t ask permissions. Don’t wait until next week. Just go out there and get it.”

“I often thought about something my Grandma Betty once told me. We were walking on the beach at Santa Monica and she picked up some sand. She held it loosely in a cupped palm. ‘Hold your relationships gently, like this. Because if you hold them too tight’ – then she closed her fist and the sand sifted out ‘ ‘you lose them.'”

“All of life’s unhappiness can be found in the gap between who we think we should be and who we actually are. Perfectionism creates the gap. Guilt widens it.”

“We all fall at some point. But we can choose to fail with grace. The circumstances are irrelevant. […] If we don’t learn the lessons, we’re doomed to repeat our mistakes. They’ll come back stronger the next time, and keep coming until we deal with them.”

“On the road to happiness, authenticity is the only measure of success.”

“Caring and listening won’t change someone’s practical problems. But it can relieve them of a bit of the burden, even if only temporarily. We do what we can.”

“I knew that nothing that was really important to me had anything to do with money.”

“No one ever went brokw from sharing his or her wealth. Any act of giving will enrich your life beyond measure. It doesn’t take much. […] Any act of generosity, no matter how small, creates a ripple effect that changes your outlook on life and the entire world. Whatever takes you out of your own head and allows you to focus on another person benefits you both.”

“I’ll second Larry’s (n.b. Larry Hagman) fear-free sentiment: The meaning of life is love. So don’t worry. Be happy. Feel good.”

“In your 20s and 30s, it’s all about aspiration. You dream big and fantasize about the things and memories you’ll one day have. In your 40s, 50s and 60s, you accumulate and fill your life with possessions that reinforce you of your accomplishments. When you get to your 70s, life is about assessment. You look at every object, emotion, and relationship and ask, ‘Do I really need this?’ If the answer is ‘no’, you can’t get rid of it fast enough. It’s  not that you’re too old and feeble to carry around all the stuff. You just don’t see the point of hauling great piles of shit around anymore. It’s dead weight.”

“Unless we’re willing to expose our authentic selves to each other – especially in hard times – we won’t make the genuine connections that are the ultimate source of joy for us. Navigating through shameful, embarrassing, painful situations with honesty and courage are what give us a sense of self-worth. By being vulnerable, afraid and sharing ourselves anyway, we make ourselves worthy of love.”

“Loving life and enjoying each other is all there is.”

“A word to anyone who gets that depressed about a wrinkle: Getting old is inevitable. Aging is optional.”

“Take the Time to: Love and Give, and Shine, Goddess, Shine.”

Other (cultural) references: “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie; “Autobiography of a Yogi” by Paramhansa Yogananda; “Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind” by Shunryu Suzuki; ‘Who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf?” (1966 film version of Edward Albee); “An unmarried woman” (1978 movie with Jill Clayburgh); “The seven laws of Money” by Michael Phillips; “Money: Master the Game, Seven Simple steps to financial freedom” by Tony Robbins; “Advanced Style” (documentary with Joyce Carpati); TV shows “Breaking Bad” and “Mad Men”; “Outstanding Health” by Michael Galitzer, MD.