"Shortly after arriving on Cape Cod to spend a year by herself, Joan Anderson’s chance encounter with a wise, playful, and astonishing woman helped her usher in the transformations and self-discoveries that led to her ongoing renewal. First glimpsed as a slender figure on a fogged-in beach, Joan Erikson was not only a friend and confidante when one was most needed, but also a guide as Anderson stretched and grew into her unfinished self.
Joan Erikson was perhaps best known for her collaboration with her husband, Erik, a pioneering psychoanalyst and noted author. After Erik’s death, she wrote several books extending their theory of the stages of life to reflect her understanding of aging as she neared ninety-five. But her wisdom was best taught through their friendship; as she sat with Anderson, weaving tapestries of their lives with brightly colored yarn while exploring the strength gathered from their accumulated experiences, Joan Erikson’s lessons took shape on their small cardboard looms as well as in her friend’s revitalized life.
In writing about their extraordinary friendship, Anderson reveals a need she didn’t know she had: for a mentor to help navigate the transitions she faced as she grew beyond middle age. And when Joan Erikson had to face her husband’s death and the growing limitations of her own body, Anderson was able to give back some of the wisdom she had gleaned. To this poignant, joyful account, Joan Anderson brings the candor and sensitivity that have made her an acclaimed speaker and writer on midlife and its possibilities. A Walk on the Beach is an experience to savor and treasure, a glimpse of the exuberant spirit that can be sustained and passed on in all our friendships."

A Walk on the Beach: Tales of Wisdom From an Unconventional Woman by Joan Anderson
Genres: Biography/Memoir

Also by this author: A Year by the Sea

 

I read this book back in 2015, along with another book written by Joan Anderson, “A Year by the Sea“. I enjoyed reading the book and I saved quite a few quotes on Goodreads which I re-read from time to time with pleasure.

“The important thing is to do something, even if it’s as simple as making a pile of pebbles. For it is always the doing that leads to the becoming, and before you know it you’re on to the next stage of life.”

“[…] vital living is all about action and touch. That’s where you find the wisdom—in what you’re doing and feeling..”

“So many women believe that feeling dependent is a part of love. Having a husband can be such an alibi for a woman; in the end she never lives her own life. I believe that a full life needs to be about self-cultivation.”

“Marriage is at best a foolish endeavor, but well worth it, I have to say, if you’re lucky enough to get hitched to a best friend.”

“It’s fun having a purpose, dear—keeps the adrenaline going.”

“[…] the poet Rilke had it right when he suggested that the highest task for two people in a relationship is to stand guard over the solitude of the other.”

“There’s a saying that suggests that those who work with their hands are laborers; those who work with their hands and heads are craftsmen; and those who work with their hands, heads, and hearts are artists.”

“Always remember that strength comes from adversity,” she quietly insists, while cutting strands of the green yarn that will represent the play stage. “I can’t say it enough. We grow from those emotional conflicts. Our fate can be altered for the better if only we have the courage to embrace the opposites.”

“The motion of the whole thing . . . and the flexibility it evokes! The lucky ones are those that grow up near water where everything is in motion—you crave it the rest of your life.”

“[…] no matter how hard you dance, not everyone will clap.”

“I always envisioned marriage as a collaboration,” she continues. “Mutuality, reciprocity, interdependence are the keys to the game. If you don’t have them, what’s the point.”

“The big trap most of us fall into is believing that love and joy always go together. It can’t possibly be so because truth comes with love and many times truth is not so playful because of its honesty.”

“You get love by participating in it,” she says, sensing now that I’m finally grasping this stage. “That goes for all the other strengths too..”

“[…] wisdom comes from life’s experiences well digested. Stop relying so much on your mind and get in touch with experience.”

“Taking chances and risking routine are two important ingredients for keeping alive.”

“You must have confidence in your body. It’s a portable world—a wonder, really. It will get you through anything if you take care of it.”

“In order not to fail in the end, you have to be dependent on yourself, and know that you can handle things, and most importantly, bring a little humor into the despair. Lightness, imagination, flexibility—these are the things that go into making a new start.”

“It’s all about being lost enough to want to find yourself.”

“I wish for all of you that you remain as unfinished as the shoreline along the beach and that you continue to transcend yourselves again and again.”

“The consistent care necessary to keep the body machinery functioning in spite of age and deterioration is mandatory. A lifetime of training is required. It’s so easy to blame the terrain, so to speak, or the light and wind for our failures and backsliding. But where the body is concerned there is no time for self-pity.”

“Give me a little ecstasy,” she has asked of me from time to time. “What’s that?” I would ask. “It’s just the excitement of beauty, really. It’s not to be forced. It’s a process, not a goal. Joy can be a goal, but ecstasy can’t. It happens when you get to the point where everything is perfectly satisfactory, the way you wanted it to be, when you can’t get it any better, when you are just there, hit the nail on the head. It’s a wonderful thing.”

“He who loved his life can love his death, as well,” said Theodore Roethke, and so it seems to be.”

“There is no beginning without a thorough and satisfactory ending.”

“LIFE LINES JOAN ERIKSON’S UNCONVENTIONAL WISDOM OVERDOSE ON THE SENSES “Get out of your body, absorbing all that you come in contact with.” DANCE BEYOND THE BREAKERS “Having direction and going after something—going toward that which gives you purpose is the way—otherwise your life becomes avoiding trouble and there is no strength in that.” LEAN ON YOUR STRENGTHS “In order not to fail in the end, you have to be dependent on yourself and know that you can handle things. Most importantly, bring a little humor into despair. Lightness, imagination, flexibility—these are the things that go into making a new start.” SPONSOR YOURSELF “Don’t deny yourself to please others. You only lose yourself in the promise.” SHARE WHAT YOU KNOW “Be generative. Pass on what you know. In sharing there is real delight. People in every stage depend on other people. Out of connection real growth happens. If there is no reciprocity, nothing ever works.” PLAY OUT YOUR EXPERIENCES “We don’t stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing. Anyway, the opposite of play is obey!” REACH FOR SATISFACTION “Does what you are doing (in work or play) satisfy you? Does it make you laugh? Does it make you sing? If so, latch on to it.” ALWAYS BE WILLING TO EMBRACE CHALLENGES “A good life is like a weaving. Energy is created in the tension. The struggle, the pull and tug are everything.”